The Little Guy
by hufflepuff whump medic
Summary: Skye wakes up one morning to find out that Fitz has inexplicably turned into a baby! While Jemma figures out how to change him back, the rest of Team Coulson try to take care of the little tyke. Hilarity ensues.


Skye was awakened by a baby cry. It was a familiar sound from when she lived at an orphanage for a couple of years. Miss Watson… please stop the baby from crying, she thought in her sleepy brain. She tried to settle down when Simmons flipped on the light.

"Something has happened. Follow me," Jemma said. Skye became more awake, and realized something her sleep brain couldn't: she's not in the orphanage. There are no babies on this plane. Jemma quickly led her to Fitz's quarters. On the bed was not Fitz, but his pyjamas next to what looked to be a slightly pale, curly haired, one-year-old baby wearing nothing but a diaper.

"Oh my gosh, is this...?"

"It must be…" Jemma replied. The girls looked each other in the eyes. "Fitz has been turned into a baby!" They said together.

"We have to be sure," said Jemma as she plucked a hair from the baby's head, "bring him downstairs with me." The DNA test confirmed it: Leo Fitz had somehow been turned into an infant.

"Okay, let me get this straight. Fitz has been turned into a toddler? I mean, how? And why is he wearing a diaper? This isn't a cartoon!" Skye ranted.

"I agree, this makes no sense scientifically. We must find a way to reverse it." Baby Leo started crying loudly. All the commotion caused Melinda to come downstairs.

"Where did you guys get this baby?" She asked in surprise.

"May, this might sound a bit… crazy… but… Fitz has somehow been turned into a baby."

"This… is Fitz?" Jemma nodded. "Well, he's awfully cute. We need to make a landing at the nearest city. Until you can find a way to change him back, we'll need some baby stuff. Aww, poor thing, give him here." Jemma handed him the tyke, who was still bawling. Melinda held Leo and gently bounced him, talking in soft nonsense to him. Jemma and Skye giggled to each other.

"I never would've thought she likes babies," Skye whispered.

"I know, right?" Jemma replied.

"You guys take care of him. I'll land us in Denver. We'll go shopping for baby supplies to have until Jemma can find a way to turn Leo back into his normal self." She then went upstairs to pilot the plane. They landed at the airport a half hour later. After quickly grabbing a little shirt, pants, and shoes from a boutique store in the airport, they got in the SHIELD van to drive to a local SuperTarget.

There they buckled Leo into the baby seat of the cart and ventured off on a journey for baby stuff. After picking up the essentials like diapers and baby food, the girls were ready to have some fun picking out little clothes and toys. Skye bought Leo a soft stuffed bunny, Jemma bought him a set of mega blocks, and Melinda bought him a dancing robot toy, a bouncy red ball, and a ride-on car toy.

"May, you know we don't need to get too many things, right? He's eventually going to be changed back," Jemma said as Melinda came over with all the toys.

"Aww, but little Leo needs variety! Isn't that right, sweetie pie?" She said, making faces and baby Leo, causing him to giggle. Jemma and Skye giggled too.

"You know, before I joined SHIELD, I was considering adopting a baby. My life took a different turn, and I never got the chance to be a mum," Melinda said as they headed for the checkout.

"Wow! I never would have guessed!" Skye exclaimed, "This must be great for you."

"Yeah, it's nice to see what could have been. I like babies. They're just tiny versions of people who do cute things and are always just so good inside. Who ever heard of a baby being a threat to the peace in this world?"

"I also love babies," Jemma interjected, "maybe it's just a lady thing. Maternal instinct, you know?" As they were paying, Coulson was making faces at Leo and playing with him.

"Maybe not," said Skye, "look at A.C. It's like he's Leo's dad."

"Coulson was talking to me the other day about being a father. He chose the spy life, though, and with the spy life comes certain sacrifices," Melinda said with a sigh.

Back on the bus, the team was hard at work baby-proofing the area. Jemma installed a baby gate on the stairs. Skye made sure to lock all the cupboards. Coulson and Melinda also did a few odd jobs. And Ward was stuck watching Leo in his playpen. Leo stared curiously up at Ward. But when he stuck his head in the playpen so Leo could look closer, he turned his back on him.

"Wha… did you see what this kid did?" He asked, exasperated. The rest of the team just laughed, which caused baby Leo to laugh as well.

"Well, I better get working on a cure for Fitz being turned into a baby," Jemma said as she opened the baby gate and headed down the stairs. The rest of the team just decided to stay upstairs and watch baby Leo. He was very entertaining. First, he ran around the room for no reason and asked each person for upsies, and then ten seconds later asked to be put back on the floor. The only person he didn't ask was Ward.

"Hey, Leo, no upsies from uncle Grant?" He asked Leo. He just stared blankly at Grant for a few seconds, and then said in his tiny baby voice, "up." However, when Grant picked him up, he just started bawling. Grant sheepishly put him back down on the floor, and at that moment Leo stopped crying. The rest of the team tried not to laugh.

"Man, I think I like the grown-up Leo better… he actually likes me!" Said Grant. Everyone else was just laughing.

The second entertaining thing Leo did was build intricate things out of his mega blocks. Then, he played with his bunny, rode around on his ride-on toy, and danced along with his dancing robot. After a while, the team decided to get back to their regular duties. They sat Leo down in front of the TV and turned on a random kids show on Netflix. When they all left the room, Leo grabbed the remote and somehow navigated to Barney. He turned the volume up really loud, so the whole bus had to listen to the purple dinosaur as they worked.

"Man, kids these days. They can literally navigate Netflix from birth," Melinda groaned as she walked over to Leo, who was looking very, very happy as watched Barney. Melinda took the remote and turned down the TV. Leo whined. She asked him if she could put on a different show. Leo's bottom lip began to quiver. May didn't want to deal with a temper tantrum so she sighed and let him keep watching it.

Two hours had passed, and everyone was being driven mad by the terrible background noise known as Barney the purple dinosaur. "If… I… hear… that… dinosaur… sing… one… more… time…" Ward groaned with his face on his desk, "I… will… strangle… someone."

"Would you rather deal with him screaming and crying because he can't?" Said May.

"I guess I'll just listen to Barney…" Ward groaned, trying to focus on his screen. Just then, Skye came in, looking very upset.

"I went to check on Leo and he's not in the living area anymore. I don't know where he went… I'm worried."

"I'll come help you look for him," Grant said, getting up from his desk. They searched around the top deck for baby Leo, and asked Jemma if she'd seen him down in the lab area, in case he somehow jumped the baby gate. The two of them cycled back around to the living room, defeated. Suddenly, Skye heard a distinct popping noise. Ward fell over on his face, revealing baby Leo standing on the couch, holding an ICER.

"Uh oh," Leo said as he looked down at the incapacitated Ward. Skye slowly approached Leo, softly saying, "Hey, buddy. You want to give that to me? It's not for little boys to play with."

"No!" Leo yelled as he jumped off the couch and ran. Skye ran after him. "A.C? A little help?" She asked as she ran though the kitchen where he was making himself a sandwich. Leo shot another round out of the gun. Skye and Coulson ducked as it ricocheted off many of the kitchen's surfaces before losing momentum. They chased him around the whole deck, until, he seemed to have disappeared.

"Keep alert. That baby is armed. If he shoots all of us, it could spell disaster," Coulson said. He cracked a smile, and chuckled lightly. "This is ridiculous," he snickered. Melinda, Coulson, and Skye searched for the tot. Skye spotted him carefully climbing down the stairs.

"How did he jump the baby gate?" Melinda yelped. She opened the gate and climbed down the stairs, softly talking to Leo, preparing to scoop him up at just the right moment. She followed him to the bottom of the staircase, where he shot a round at the floor that bounced up and hit Coulson who was standing above. Melinda quickly swiped the gun out of his hand and put the safety on. Jemma ran out of the lab.

"Naughty Fitz," she said as she received the gun from Melinda, "we do not play with ICERs." Leo's bottom lip quivered. Jemma turned around and set the gun down on a shelf. Leo started wailing. It broke Jemma's heart. "Awww, come here, sweetie," she said as she picked him up and gently shushed him.

"How is the 'cure' coming, Simmons?" Melinda asked.

"It's… getting there. I have very little information to work with, but I've sort of figured it out…"

"By the way, I forgot to tell you that Coulson and Ward were hit with ICERs."

"Oh my goodness, are they alright?" Jemma cried.

"They'll be alright, Simmons. Keep up the good work."

"Agent May, are you sure you don't need any help taking care of Fitz? He seems like a handful."

"No, we're alright," she reassured her, "I've just learned the hard way that television is not a very good babysitter. I think we'll have to trade off who's on 'Fitz Duty.'"

It was easier said than done. All baby Leo wanted to do was watch Barney while he played with toys, meaning that whoever was on Fitz Duty had to watch him watch Barney. And if anyone attempted to change the show, he would freak out. So team Coulson was stuck listening to Barney on full blast for the whole day, feeling like their brains were slowly rotting from the inside.

Everyone was relieved when 8 o'clock rolled around and Melinda put Fitz to bed in his playpen. "Man…" Ward sighed, "it was fun having a baby on the plane at the beginning, but I think I'm all baby'd out…"

"Same…" said Skye, "let's watch some actual good TV. I need to get the Barney song out of my head."

"Hopefully Simmons will be able to change him back tomorrow," Coulson said as he sat down beside the rest of his team. Melinda gently closed the door to Fitz's quarters, muffling his crying.

"Hopefully he'll fall asleep and we wont have to take him out of his crib," she said with a shudder, "you know, I had friends who were mums. They would complain about their kids, I always thought they were being overdramatic. They were not."

The team watched a hockey game together. It was the Chicago Blackhawks (Coulson's favourite team) versus the Boston Bruins (Grant and Skye's favourite team.) They shared some snacks and had a great time together.

"What a bummer. Fitz always loves game night," Skye sighed.

"Especially the snacks," Melinda added.

"I miss grown-up Fitz. He was so… Scottish. And fun," said Ward.

"Hopefully Simmons will have him back to normal in no time. Oh, Yes! Another goal for the Blackhawks!" Coulson said.

"Noooooo!" Skye and Ward cried.

"Wait… do you guys hear that?" Melinda half-whispered. The team quieted down.

"The baby's gone to sleep," Coulson said with a smile, "how wonderful."

It wasn't wonderful at night, however. Baby Leo woke up again and again. At one, at three, and again and four a.m. When he woke Skye up at five (she usually got up at seven,) she decided to just get up and turn on the TV for Leo. Luckily she made sure to not go to Netflix and instead turned on PBS, which actually was kind of nostalgic to watch, as they still aired a lot of the shows she grew up watching.

"Good Morning, Skye," Coulson yawned as he started the coffee maker.

"Morning, A.C.. Could you watch the baby for a second? I'm going to check if Simmons has made any progress. She probably got up at four a.m. to work on the cure."

"No problem," he said as he sat down beside Leo and started talking to him in a baby voice. Skye hurried down the stairs to the lab, where she saw Jemma passed out on the holotable, a cup of tea spilled all over it. It looked like she was up all night working on a way to change Leo back.

"Jemma… Jemma… wake up…" Skye said, softly shaking her. She sat up, an imprint of the table's pattern on her face.

"I'm sorry, I must have dozed off. Oh no, my serum!" She was quickly more alert as she ran over to her little chemistry station. She picked up a vial, examined it, and sighed with relief.

"Oh, good. You see, I had to let it sit, and I was so tired when waiting for it I passed out on the holotable. But it's ready now! Bring the baby down here. And his grownup clothes."

Skye brought baby Leo downstairs, where Jemma quickly tried to get him dressed in the adult clothes. She then brought the serum over in a pipette.

"It's extremely potent," she explained, "one drop reverses the effect of the chemical I'm pretty sure he was exposed to on our last mission. Hope this works… open wide, Fitz," she said as she squeezed a drop of the serum into Leo's mouth. Immediately, Leo grew into his old self. His shirt was backwards and he was only in his boxer shorts, but he was back.

"Say something, Fitz!" Jemma said, worried he still had a baby's brain.

"What on earth happened? I think I've been asleep for days! And what's this weird taste in my mouth?"

"Oh, Fitz, you're back! How are you feeling?"

"The best word to describe it is… odd. I'm going to sit down."

"You don't remember being turned into a baby?" Skye asked.

"I was turned into a BABY?" Leo cried. Jemma and Skye nodded. "Man, I never thought being an agent would be this weird."


End file.
